♥

in one breath

the words escape my tongue when i think of, this feeling
the emotions running through my soul collide with the thoughts in my head
and what you said.
overwhelming,
this rush, the pain, the pleasure
unbelievable, unescapable, unexplainable
more dangerous than the steepest mountain
stronger than a hurricane.
deeper than any sea,
powerful as the crimson tide pumping through my fortitude.
intensified by every movement
passionate possibilities takeover my mind & spirit
uncontrolable urges command my palace
i try to resist
try to seize these emotions,
but it is too late
he has captured my soul
we are now one
our breaths conduct the sweetest rhythms.
every beat leaves me longing for
reluctant, we attempt to seperate
gasping for air
electric.dynamic.
deep breaths liberate.
already anticipating, more

<3 X0X0
-Lysa

year 3 :)

its my 3rd year in college & time is really flying by. i find myself changing day by day. my spidey senses are tapping in so the super scholar in me is starting to shine again. although school is the most important thing in my life right now, my personal life is taking a turn for the better. it is true that time heals all. it all started freshman year. i made so many great friends and built great relationships, but as time passed on, many of the people i called "friends" began to show their true colors. for me, having friends is serious. i dont like many people or trust them either so for me to call you my friend means more than anyone can know. during my sophomore year, many of my friends traveled on different paths toward their personal goals. i was proud and still am very proud of all of them, but i quickly realized that some of the people i once knew were gone, lost, and forgotten. i also realized that while my friends "found themselves", they lost people in their lives who once meant everything. the pain that came from these discoveries cut deep, sharper than any knife. i found myself questioning if we were really friends or if the friendships i made were make believe. i separated myself from many people because the pain was so intense. however, soon i began to realize that maybe it wasn't them changing that scared me. it was the fact that i was afraid of them not caring about me anymore. selfish, yes i know but i really love and value my friends. so the feeling that we were growing apart frightened me. now that i am in my junior year, i have realized that sometimes friends don't talk for periods of time and sometimes they don't get along but TRUE FRIENDS LAST NO MATTER WHAT. even though i thought my friends and i were growing apart, now i know that many of them had to get their lives together and accomplish some things & i have to say i am proud of them. although all relationships aren't as strong as they once were, the bonds that we share can never be replaced. even though we are growing older, my only wish is that after this collegiate journey is over, we will continue to be FRIENDS FOREVER but only time will tell....

love,
me

.love the way you lie.

lately i have been hearing "love the way you lie" by eminem & rihanna so much. it is crazy how the right song comes on at the right moment. this song slaps me in the face everytime i hear it because i have been there before. the place where you are hurt so much by someone and sometimes you accept the dumb things they do or say. you know that they will continue until you stand up for yourself and make it clear that you are not taking it anymore even thought that is one of the hardest things to do. the song basically is talking about abusive relationships & even if you are not getting hit, a relationship can be verbally and emotionally abusive. sometimes for a woman or a man, the love that is felt is so strong that one will avoid the pain which is placed upon them. it will happen over and over again. the song speaks about the pain a person goes through while being in love..sometimes not being to breathe and fighting to the death literally and mentally. fighting to hold on until one party comes to the point where they can't take it anymore & they walk away. i love this song & everytime i hear it, it takes me back to a place where i never want to go again. the saddest part is both people might truly be in love but know deep down the relationship is not healthy for either one of them. they might not want to walk away but someone has to make the responsible decision to save the love they share for each other, because true love knows when it is time to let go. the point of letting go is so that two lovers will not end up resenting each other even though sometimes that can't be avoided. when you truly love someone, you make decisons that may hurt but will ultimately shelter them from pain. when you truly love someone, sometimes the best decision is to be apart from them and even move on. "love the way you lie" is a reflection of a love that is dangerous. a love that once was strong but now hurts all who are involved. love that should be preserved and left with sweet memories so that things will not get worse than they already are.


♥ ♥ ♥

it's crazy how you love the way you hurt because of the person you're in love with. sometimes the pain seems bareable because you are blinded by the passion but growing up comes with realizing when you are in an unhealthy relationship and knowing when it is time to let go.

"The Decision"

so im sure everyone knows about this huge deal with lebron james & the heat...it was so crazy because so many people wanted him to go other places. i mean geesh even President Obama said it!


"As I've mentioned before, I think LeBron would look great in a Bulls uniform," the president told reporters during a special morning press briefing in the Oval Office. "It's a great basketball city, and I think he'd fit right in. Just like I fit in here in my office—which, if you hadn't noticed when you entered, is the Oval Office, the center of power of the United States and, by extension, the Western world."

"Sorry, I think I may have gotten sidetracked there and said something irrelevant," added the president, walking casually over the presidential seal on the White House rug. "Or possibly not. In any case, I think LeBron would be perfect for the Bulls and their excellent core of young players. It's a team game, and in any team game it's important to have good teammates, as I'm fond of telling my own teammates, like the joint chiefs, the secretary of state, and, you know, the nation of Britain."


but sadly for me [who wanted him to go to New York initially] & the big man in office, he took the route to south beach. i can't blame the man..i mean for over $100 million i would go too! but i said all of this to show you all a video spoof of "The Decision", a music video which made me laugh so i wnated to share the joy.




Hopefully the "KING" will have fun in the sun [i know i did in MIAMI], receive a ring in a couple of years with his new teammates, and have a successful career with the Heat!

-GOOD LUCK :)

what is a friend?
according to dictionary.com, a friend is
1.a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2.a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter
3.a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile

recently i have been presented with a dilemma which demands immediate attention. do i honestly have friends or just people who say they are one day but they next, they are throwing my name in the dirt, kicking it, & spiting on it to top it off. the answer to this question: i honestly do not know. when you are a child friends come and go. sometimes you meet that one who you know will be there forever i.e. the best friend. my best friend is like my sister..i call her my twin. we have known each other since the 4th grade & so far she is the main one who has always stayed true. through thick & thin, she has been there and likewise, i have been there for her. the thing that boggles my mind is the friendships i have acquired as i get older have not been as true. in no way, shape, or form am i saying that i have always been the perfect friend. i have my faults and i know that i could do & be better.

 .the worst feeling in life to me is the feeling of not being wanted. when a call is not returned, a text is ignored, a special occasion is unattended, or a birthday is forgotten.



recently, i celebrated a birthday and my father did not call to tell me happy birthday. 
-1st problem: i am the only child..its not like he has to remember other birthdays because he doesn't.
-2nd problem: its not like he never has called or like he hasn't been in my life because he has. [i get dinner, gas, and most of my electronics came from him, but i guess this year slipped his mind. i wondered if maybe he didn't call was because of how old i'm getting, then realized it doesn't matter because i'm his daughter.]
-3rd problem: i don't expect him to ever say it..it is now over a month & i have yet to hear "happy birthday" from my father. & whats crazy is today was his birthday. i called , he tried to hold a serious convo with me, he even said he thought that I, [as in me], was going to forget his birthday. yeah, you thought that because you forgot mine! stupid! i wasn't going to call but my friends said i should, but now i regret it.



                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

i said all this to say as we grow and start to grow and experience life, i believe it is extremely important to be responsible. i believe if someone has a child, they should always think about what is best for them. when i have children, if i am blessed to have any, i will be the best parent & i will make sure they feel love and support from both parents. it is not fair for children to question the love of a parent. unfortunately this is the reality of our world today.



advice for the new generation of parents: love your children unconditionally. never have them question how much you love them...it is the worst feeling imaginable. 

night
love, the unwanted

[lost] love

what do you do when love is lost?

many may say move on with your life "you have your whole life ahead of you" - but what happens when the one you need doesn't need you?




one day life is great. the sun is shining on your love. everyone sees the passion in your eyes. but it seems when life gets good, it gets bad soon after. i have lost love before. it is the worst feeling one could ever feel. although everything is ok now [tears dried, heart & mind content, etc.] i admit i was a wreck. i couldn't eat, sleep, & all i ever did was cry. it is not until you are at the bottom that you realize there is absolutely no reason to feel the way you feel. but what can you do? listen to rap. ignore him/her. many techniques but until you are truly ready...there is no getting over it..you will see their face, smell their scent, hear them call your name, and even miss the bad times. advice to those struggling through a difficult break-up: the break up occurred for a reason..God, or whoever you believe in is telling you that there is more out there than what you are currently receiving. don't always question what goes on, but go with the flow. there is a plan & everything WILL be ok. take your time when meeting new people & don't rush into giving them your all [most are not worth it anyways]

playlist for a broken heart:

1st stage: SADNESS

• fistful of tears-maxwell
• lost without you-robin thicke
• yo side of the bed-trey songz
• emotions-destiny's child
• part of the list-neyo
• it kills me-melanie fiona

2nd stage: ANGER

• resentment-beyonce
• if i was a boy-beyonce
• rather go blind-etta james
• me myself and i-beyonce
• im going down-mary j. blidge
• falling out- keyshia cole
• firebomb-rihanna

3rd stage: MOVING ON

• holla if you need me-trey songz
• crawl-chris brown
• if-destiny's child
• drop the world-lil wayne
• russian roulette-rihanna
• still standing-monica

[the most important thing]...

realizing life goes on, there's more fish in the sea!

if you have someone in your life who doesn't realize your worth, they are not worth your time.

p.s.
MOVE ON>>>LIFE IS TOO SHORT!

[decisions]DECISIONS

.the hardest thing to do is that which you dont want to.

as life progresses, it becomes harder & harder to do what you know in your heart is right. fighting with the person inside has to be the most difficult conflict not only because your mind & heart are in disagreement but because ultimately..you know which path is the right one for YOU. the worst feeling is admitting to yourself that certain fights are not worth fighting. i have been battling with this for a while & im finally realizing that i am stronger than ever before.

*thought for the night*:
It's not hard to make decisions
when you know what your values are.
~Roy Disney

--be true to you and to the people you love. we only have one ticket...dont waste the ride--

love, me ♥