finding happiness

There are thousands of ways to energize and relax -- mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, social, artistic, musical -- and we are all smart enough to find our own ways, especially when we have encouraging friends who will listen with love and not analyze or criticize or give advice as we talk our way through the problems.

Anyone can do this. Many of us begin by charting our personal energy/tension ecology, listing what in our lives drains and what lifts energy, what raises and what lowers tension -- and what ever has or might. Then we start to make changes. Even a little can make a big difference.

The ability to raise energy and drop tension, and thus to lift mood and attitude and create happiness, grows with practice. There is no limit on the number of people who can live happily, and no limit on how happy each of us can be.

can't get right

sometimes i feel like i ALWAYS make mistakes.

even when i really try with all my might to do right, i can't get right.
my excitement for life sometimes gets the best of me and i am excited to share my excitement with others
but sometimes it blow up in my face. even when my excitement is totally called for and very
normal in certain situations i get shot down and made to feel as if i am in the wrong.
is it so wrong to be excited about progression in my life? is it wrong to be elated when love enters my life?
am i to hide the thing that makes me so happy inside? i guess so. my bad

trust.

it is so very amazing to me how untrustworthy people are. you give them your heart and they will completely throw you out to dry like a old car wash towel. The craziest part is when they try to make you feel guilty when they have been doing the same exact thing. what makes you better than me? because i went to my ex and you found someone new? maybe i'm more in the wrong because i let my past interfere with my present. but maybe you are because you basically searched for someone. went out and actually initiated contact with these little sluts. these little scum bucket licking dirtbags. these immature, unsure, juvenile fools. i guess i wasn't good enough for you either. i guess you had to get something extra on the side as well huh? crazy how the truth comes out. always. but for sure (i've said it once and i'll say it again) the only person I can trust is God. no one else is worthy as shown to me time and time again. this is what makes me continue doing me. all day. everyday. by myself. 1 pillow. 1 sheet. one mattress. by myself! wanna go night night? lol anyways... i'm hurt because i was just made to seem like a horrible person today for hours but you didn't just have one. you had 2. 2 women who deterred you from me. wow. i really don't know what to say. i guess its another lesson learned. this came at exactly the right time.

xoxo,
Alyssa

♥

in one breath

the words escape my tongue when i think of, this feeling
the emotions running through my soul collide with the thoughts in my head
and what you said.
overwhelming,
this rush, the pain, the pleasure
unbelievable, unescapable, unexplainable
more dangerous than the steepest mountain
stronger than a hurricane.
deeper than any sea,
powerful as the crimson tide pumping through my fortitude.
intensified by every movement
passionate possibilities takeover my mind & spirit
uncontrolable urges command my palace
i try to resist
try to seize these emotions,
but it is too late
he has captured my soul
we are now one
our breaths conduct the sweetest rhythms.
every beat leaves me longing for
reluctant, we attempt to seperate
gasping for air
electric.dynamic.
deep breaths liberate.
already anticipating, more

<3 X0X0
-Lysa

year 3 :)

its my 3rd year in college & time is really flying by. i find myself changing day by day. my spidey senses are tapping in so the super scholar in me is starting to shine again. although school is the most important thing in my life right now, my personal life is taking a turn for the better. it is true that time heals all. it all started freshman year. i made so many great friends and built great relationships, but as time passed on, many of the people i called "friends" began to show their true colors. for me, having friends is serious. i dont like many people or trust them either so for me to call you my friend means more than anyone can know. during my sophomore year, many of my friends traveled on different paths toward their personal goals. i was proud and still am very proud of all of them, but i quickly realized that some of the people i once knew were gone, lost, and forgotten. i also realized that while my friends "found themselves", they lost people in their lives who once meant everything. the pain that came from these discoveries cut deep, sharper than any knife. i found myself questioning if we were really friends or if the friendships i made were make believe. i separated myself from many people because the pain was so intense. however, soon i began to realize that maybe it wasn't them changing that scared me. it was the fact that i was afraid of them not caring about me anymore. selfish, yes i know but i really love and value my friends. so the feeling that we were growing apart frightened me. now that i am in my junior year, i have realized that sometimes friends don't talk for periods of time and sometimes they don't get along but TRUE FRIENDS LAST NO MATTER WHAT. even though i thought my friends and i were growing apart, now i know that many of them had to get their lives together and accomplish some things & i have to say i am proud of them. although all relationships aren't as strong as they once were, the bonds that we share can never be replaced. even though we are growing older, my only wish is that after this collegiate journey is over, we will continue to be FRIENDS FOREVER but only time will tell....

love,
me

.love the way you lie.

lately i have been hearing "love the way you lie" by eminem & rihanna so much. it is crazy how the right song comes on at the right moment. this song slaps me in the face everytime i hear it because i have been there before. the place where you are hurt so much by someone and sometimes you accept the dumb things they do or say. you know that they will continue until you stand up for yourself and make it clear that you are not taking it anymore even thought that is one of the hardest things to do. the song basically is talking about abusive relationships & even if you are not getting hit, a relationship can be verbally and emotionally abusive. sometimes for a woman or a man, the love that is felt is so strong that one will avoid the pain which is placed upon them. it will happen over and over again. the song speaks about the pain a person goes through while being in love..sometimes not being to breathe and fighting to the death literally and mentally. fighting to hold on until one party comes to the point where they can't take it anymore & they walk away. i love this song & everytime i hear it, it takes me back to a place where i never want to go again. the saddest part is both people might truly be in love but know deep down the relationship is not healthy for either one of them. they might not want to walk away but someone has to make the responsible decision to save the love they share for each other, because true love knows when it is time to let go. the point of letting go is so that two lovers will not end up resenting each other even though sometimes that can't be avoided. when you truly love someone, you make decisons that may hurt but will ultimately shelter them from pain. when you truly love someone, sometimes the best decision is to be apart from them and even move on. "love the way you lie" is a reflection of a love that is dangerous. a love that once was strong but now hurts all who are involved. love that should be preserved and left with sweet memories so that things will not get worse than they already are.


♥ ♥ ♥

it's crazy how you love the way you hurt because of the person you're in love with. sometimes the pain seems bareable because you are blinded by the passion but growing up comes with realizing when you are in an unhealthy relationship and knowing when it is time to let go.

"The Decision"

so im sure everyone knows about this huge deal with lebron james & the heat...it was so crazy because so many people wanted him to go other places. i mean geesh even President Obama said it!


"As I've mentioned before, I think LeBron would look great in a Bulls uniform," the president told reporters during a special morning press briefing in the Oval Office. "It's a great basketball city, and I think he'd fit right in. Just like I fit in here in my office—which, if you hadn't noticed when you entered, is the Oval Office, the center of power of the United States and, by extension, the Western world."

"Sorry, I think I may have gotten sidetracked there and said something irrelevant," added the president, walking casually over the presidential seal on the White House rug. "Or possibly not. In any case, I think LeBron would be perfect for the Bulls and their excellent core of young players. It's a team game, and in any team game it's important to have good teammates, as I'm fond of telling my own teammates, like the joint chiefs, the secretary of state, and, you know, the nation of Britain."


but sadly for me [who wanted him to go to New York initially] & the big man in office, he took the route to south beach. i can't blame the man..i mean for over $100 million i would go too! but i said all of this to show you all a video spoof of "The Decision", a music video which made me laugh so i wnated to share the joy.




Hopefully the "KING" will have fun in the sun [i know i did in MIAMI], receive a ring in a couple of years with his new teammates, and have a successful career with the Heat!

-GOOD LUCK :)