finding happiness

There are thousands of ways to energize and relax -- mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, social, artistic, musical -- and we are all smart enough to find our own ways, especially when we have encouraging friends who will listen with love and not analyze or criticize or give advice as we talk our way through the problems.

Anyone can do this. Many of us begin by charting our personal energy/tension ecology, listing what in our lives drains and what lifts energy, what raises and what lowers tension -- and what ever has or might. Then we start to make changes. Even a little can make a big difference.

The ability to raise energy and drop tension, and thus to lift mood and attitude and create happiness, grows with practice. There is no limit on the number of people who can live happily, and no limit on how happy each of us can be.

can't get right

sometimes i feel like i ALWAYS make mistakes.

even when i really try with all my might to do right, i can't get right.
my excitement for life sometimes gets the best of me and i am excited to share my excitement with others
but sometimes it blow up in my face. even when my excitement is totally called for and very
normal in certain situations i get shot down and made to feel as if i am in the wrong.
is it so wrong to be excited about progression in my life? is it wrong to be elated when love enters my life?
am i to hide the thing that makes me so happy inside? i guess so. my bad

trust.

it is so very amazing to me how untrustworthy people are. you give them your heart and they will completely throw you out to dry like a old car wash towel. The craziest part is when they try to make you feel guilty when they have been doing the same exact thing. what makes you better than me? because i went to my ex and you found someone new? maybe i'm more in the wrong because i let my past interfere with my present. but maybe you are because you basically searched for someone. went out and actually initiated contact with these little sluts. these little scum bucket licking dirtbags. these immature, unsure, juvenile fools. i guess i wasn't good enough for you either. i guess you had to get something extra on the side as well huh? crazy how the truth comes out. always. but for sure (i've said it once and i'll say it again) the only person I can trust is God. no one else is worthy as shown to me time and time again. this is what makes me continue doing me. all day. everyday. by myself. 1 pillow. 1 sheet. one mattress. by myself! wanna go night night? lol anyways... i'm hurt because i was just made to seem like a horrible person today for hours but you didn't just have one. you had 2. 2 women who deterred you from me. wow. i really don't know what to say. i guess its another lesson learned. this came at exactly the right time.

xoxo,
Alyssa